I have thought about what my first blog post would be for months. Everything that I attempted to write just seemed to fall flat. The words felt like fluff, not real, forced. A few months ago it hit me, pretty hard to be honest, that writing a blog scares me. It's a pretty inconvenient truth for an aspiring writer to admit, but I am deeply terrified of people reading what I have written. I have been a writer for years, but this fear has kept me stagnant, never moving forward to share.

There is something so intimate about sharing the words I have written in seclusion. It feels very vulnerable to put my writing out there for others to read and judge. When my words sit unseen, the possibility of having a talent is still possible. But the moment I put my writing out in the world to be read, I open myself up to the possibility that I may not be good at something I have dreamed of doing for years. The idea of stepping out of my fear and being vulnerably brave absolutely terrifies me to my innermost being. Yet…

God calls us to set aside our fears and be bold for Him. 

It is not the absence of fear that we are able to do great things, it is in the presence of fear that we are able to experience God’s miraculous work. We see this in the Bible time and time again. God calls us to trust in Him to make us stronger than we are on our own, and to trust that He will do amazing things through us.

The story I think about right away is David and Goliath. I volunteer with the youth at my church, and I often mention that sometimes we can become immune to reading Bible stories. In the process of hearing the same story over and over, we view the people of the Bible just as two dimensional as the text on the page. But these were real people, and pausing to think about their experience and how they were feeling opens up a whole new layer of meaning.

David was a teenager, going to aid his brothers at war. This is where David sees Goliath taunting the Israelites. In scripture it says that when King Saul and the Israelite fighters saw and heard Goliath, they were terrified and had lost hope (1 Samuel 17:11). David asked who was going to do something about this Goliath that was defying the Israelites and defying God. He was told that no one had stepped up. Where others were frozen by fear, David was moved to do more.

I can’t help but think about that moment…that life changing moment. All the choices that David had in that moment. He could pray for someone else to step up. He could go back to the safety of his home and hope someone else defeated the warrior giant. Or, David could step up and fight the nine foot Goliath himself.

This is where I believe we often fall into the trap of taking David and making him two dimensional. We know the end of the story; he defeats Goliath. We also know the miracle; it only took one rock. With this knowledge we slap a label on the story: David was brave because he trusted the Lord to give him victory. Yes, that is true, but I don’t think that it was that simple.

David was a human just like you and me. David didn’t experience life through only one emotion or only one thought. He doesn’t jump from seeing Goliath to defeating Goliath. There was more. I believe David was brave and bold for God, but I also think he had the same complex human experience that you and I have. I think David felt anger at Goliath, disgust with what Golliath was saying, frustration that no one was standing up, sadness of a nation at war, and fear when he thought about fighting Goliath himself. I think David still had fear (and maybe even some doubt) when he stepped out to fight Goliath. I believe this because David chose five rocks from the river. Not one rock, but five.

You see, David didn’t know the end of the story. He did not know the miracle that God would do with one stone. He picked up multiple rocks because he was preparing for battle. Preparing for a fight that would require throwing many stones to win. He was still brave, but he was also a teenager trying to have the best chance at fighting a giant and living through it.

David stepped out, even in the face of fear, because he knew who his God was and who God called him to be

I believe this is what God is telling us in the Bible. Fear will exist, but do not stay idle in that fear. Do not step down or hide because of fear. Instead, in the face of that fear, be bold because “I am your God and I will strengthen you” (Isaiah 41:10). God says that He will strengthen us because He knows that we are weak and need to be strengthened. Being brave or being bold for God requires us to come from a place of needing to overcome something. It is not the absence of fear that makes us brave, but instead the action of stepping out boldly even when fear is present. Our God helps us do that.

We are not alone in our fear, God is there with us and strengthening us.

So today, I am being brave, as I boldly step out to follow the call that God has placed on my heart. My fear is still present, very present, but with my eyes set on my God I am able to be brave because of who He is and the promises of the Bible where God says He will use me for good.

So then, my question for you is, where can you be brave as well? Where can you step out of your fear and boldly trust that God will carry you through?

Today's blog post is dedicated to my friend Mycah. Congratulations on finishing your chemo!!! I am proud of you as you bravely set out on this journey to remission despite all the fears that you faced being diagnosed with cancer at only 35. God made you feisty for a reason, and I cannot wait to see where all He will lead you after this fight is over. You are slaying your own Goliath, my friend.