“Hey, I’m sorry to interrupt. I know you are busy. I won’t take too much of your time, I promise.” But she did. She took up my time. And it absolutely irritated me–BUT not in the way you would think. It irritated me because I could hear the pain and fear in my friend’s words. The pain of feeling like she was “too much,” for me. The fear that I would reject her friendship because she occupied too much of my space.

I could hear the devil’s whispers to her heart, and in that moment, those whispers were winning.

Recently, I wrote a blog on my new business’s website about a common ADHD symptom–rejection sensitivity (READ BLOG). Oh yeah, by the way, I started a counseling business! It is called Abiding Waters Counseling. So, if you have been missing my blogs, I am back! It will take some time to adjust, but I hope to get frequent blogs published again.

ANYWAYS…back to it…rejection sensitivity.

Though not a “true symptom” of ADHD, it is something that a lot of people with ADHD have reported to struggle with. Rejection sensitivity is an intense emotional reaction to perceived rejection of peers or fear of failing others. It is exhausting and can lead to low confidence, anxiety, depressive symptoms, and rumination. It can sound a lot like my friend’s statements. After writing my business blog, I knew I would write this follow up. This blog post is my Biblical response to my brothers and sisters struggling with rejection sensitivity or struggling with relationships in general.

Let start by speaking some TRUTH into you…

You were uniquely woven together by THE CREATOR of the entire universe, and He intimately pieced every single part of you together for a perfect and pleasing purpose. (Ephesians 2:10) He knew EVERY SINGLE DAY of your life before one single day came about and He wove together the exact personality and skills you would need for each of those days as you lived out the plans He has for you; plans for good, not for disaster (Psalm 139, Jeremiah 29:11). The Creator of sunrises, sunsets, mountains, flowers, the ocean, and all of the beautifully complex things of this world SINGS over you because He DELIGHTS in you and you bring Him JOY (Zephaniah 3:17). Wait, did you hear that?

YOU bring the Creator of the entire universe JOY.

Do not let that devil try and steal that joy. The evil one is trying to take you out of the “game” by whispering lies to you about past mistakes, guilt, shame, and pointing out possible rejections of others. These whispers might cause you to quit a task or leave a group. These whispers might make you strive towards perfectionism or overachievement which causes guilt based decisions and burnout. BUT our God is bigger than those whispers AND your biggest fears or failures do not deter God from completing His purpose in your life. You are not that strong because He has a plan that includes overcoming those whispers and mistakes. God also has a community of believers that He has designed for you to work with to achieve His purpose. A community that sees you through the same eyes as the God who created you. They see you as beautiful and you bring them joy.

“He makes the whole body fit together perfectly. As each part does its own special work, it helps the other parts grow, so that the whole body is healthy and growing and full of love.” (Ephesians:416)

Maybe you need to read that verse again? Maybe you need to meditate on it and truly let what it means sink in? God made you for a specific purpose, and the work you do is integral for others to grow. That means you are needed not just because of the things God has designed for you to accomplish, but also because others need you to grow and be filled with love. People are stronger because of you being in their life. The body of Christ is stronger because of your existence. There is no rejection because you are an integral part of God’s plan.

But I know what devil whispers are coming next…

• I have been rejected by others. 
• I have been talked about. 
• I have had people treat me badly. 
• I have been hurt by others. 

Well this is my response…

Do not let the areas in which people still need to grow become descriptors of who you are.

Their mistakes in action or in word are not things for you to pick up and allow to define who you are. Friend, only our God defines who you are. And considering He is the one who made you, it is only His opinion that matters. God has a place for you and a community for you to grow in. If people are unable to recognize your beautifully unique personality and talents, shake the dirt off your feet and move on while allowing the peace of our God to refresh you and renew your heart so you can stay the path of His purpose. (Matthew 10:11-14) 

So I leave you with…who are you allowing to define you? What devil whispers are holding you back from living God’s purpose? Where in your life do you need to let God in so that He can renew and strengthen you?